Man these blogs never get easier to write…this is Erin here writing my last blog post! This internship has been one of discovery, self-reflection and joy. I’ve never felt God’s presence more than I have these past eleven weeks. God challenged me, awakened me and filled me up. When I didn’t feel His presence and checked out of a situation, He made Himself known where I was by turning the situation around.
Even before I knew the Lord, control has been a constant struggle in my life. In high school I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder and ever since that was spoken over me I’ve felt like I cling to it as if it is part of my identity. Recently, I took part in a Restore session which was led by Abby. Restore helps you get clarity and resolution about what holds you back and weighs you down. It might sound crazy, but in my session I spoke to Jesus and was fully restored back to the child of God that He created me to be. I was able to let go of things I was clinging to and will no longer declare OCD to have control over me. Now I no longer say that I have OCD but I say I had OCD. For a long time I thought I was letting go of control but by saying I have OCD I was still clinging onto control as part of my identity. This internship has taught me to continually let go again and again because I felt God’s presence more than ever and I’d rather have God be in control of my life than me any day.
When I think about going home what comes to mind is the word bittersweet. I’m excited to see the people I miss so much and eat some of my favorite foods but there is nothing like living, discovering and learning among other believers. Each one of us interns was brought up differently. Not all of us have grown up in Christian homes. Some of us have never seen love like Jesus intended us to. Others have had to raise their siblings because their parents didn’t. For me, I don’t even know what my time here means for me because I’m still here. How do I sum up eleven weeks of experiencing a new culture, new communities, new relationships, new situations, things my eyes have never seen and being comfortable with the uncomfortable? I can’t. Contact me in a month and maybe I’ll have a better answer for you!
|ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Erin Gabreski • 2017 International Immersion Intern