Contentment with Uncertainty

June 29th, 2016 Posted by Immersion Internship - 2016

My experience so far is difficult to articulate. I think the best way to describe it is that it is a paradox. It has been draining and refreshing, peaceful and uncertain. Without a doubt, I am thankful that I am here and would not want to be spending my summer any other way.
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God has been challenging me so much, especially in my trust in Him. I have always liked having control, so it has been helpful for me to be in so many situations where I do not have control. From the very first day, they taught us to expect the unexpected. Our first morning here, we were woken up at 3:30 with banging pans and told that we had half an hour to pack for a week without asking questions. For the next few days, they did not tell us anything we were doing until we were doing it.

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Since then, there has been more structure, but I have definitely learned to not to expect anything too firmly. Although having so little control is disconcerting for me, it is also refreshing. Sometimes back home I have my life scheduled to five-minute increments, so not having schedules that specific is really nice. Here I can just assume that whether or not something happens as expected, everything will still turn out okay.

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I have also been challenged to trust God more with my future. Before I came here, I was hoping that God would confirm how He wants to use my future, but He’s been showing me that it’s not that simple. Although I have no idea what will happen, God’s been helping me grow more content in trusting that He will lead me where He wants me in His own time.

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Being more content with the present and the future has filled me with peace. While I have been growing in this area, God has been continuing to reveal areas of weakness in my faith. This has been simultaneously tiring and good. I look forward to seeing how God will continue to challenge me to grow throughout the summer.

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KatherineBaldwin ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Katie Baldwin • 2016 International Immersion Intern