My experience so far is difficult to articulate. I think the best way to describe it is that it is a paradox. It has been draining and refreshing, peaceful and uncertain. Without a doubt, I am thankful that I am here and would not want to be spending my summer any other way.
God has been challenging me so much, especially in my trust in Him. I have always liked having control, so it has been helpful for me to be in so many situations where I do not have control. From the very first day, they taught us to expect the unexpected. Our first morning here, we were woken up at 3:30 with banging pans and told that we had half an hour to pack for a week without asking questions. For the next few days, they did not tell us anything we were doing until we were doing it.
Since then, there has been more structure, but I have definitely learned to not to expect anything too firmly. Although having so little control is disconcerting for me, it is also refreshing. Sometimes back home I have my life scheduled to five-minute increments, so not having schedules that specific is really nice. Here I can just assume that whether or not something happens as expected, everything will still turn out okay.
I have also been challenged to trust God more with my future. Before I came here, I was hoping that God would confirm how He wants to use my future, but He’s been showing me that it’s not that simple. Although I have no idea what will happen, God’s been helping me grow more content in trusting that He will lead me where He wants me in His own time.
Being more content with the present and the future has filled me with peace. While I have been growing in this area, God has been continuing to reveal areas of weakness in my faith. This has been simultaneously tiring and good. I look forward to seeing how God will continue to challenge me to grow throughout the summer.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katie Baldwin • 2016 International Immersion Intern |